What up, Gourd Season

So obviously my blog’s been out of commission recently, and with good reason! Work’s been a lot lately and with all my dedication to my students I’ve forgotten to get back to one of the things that makes me happiest – writing about them. HA! Just kidding. And with that, I give you –

The Fall/ Halloween Post of 2008!!

With the presidential election coming up, I would like you to all know that YES I’ve been researching each candidate, and am making my decision based on a myriad of information, mainly including their favorite pop culture icon and song of 1998. Anyway,

in the spirit of the recent vice presidential debate, I’ve created new campaign slogans for each camp, to show a little love to our VEEPEES! Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Repubs: McPalin 2008! And the Dems: Obiden 2008! I will not divulge my political leanings, but I will advise that listening to celebrities is probably not the best idea….but hey, if you too believe that someday aliens are going to come and rescue everyone wearing red strings around their wrists and give the world to those with no less than five DUIs, then be my guest!

I am SO happy that fall is here. My favorite thing about fall is GOURD SEASON! Once it gets closer I will be making my annual trip to Central Market to pick out some delicious, decorative gourds for the apartment. My friend Mark first introduced me to these amazing beings back in 2004, and I haven’t been the same since. In fact, I am considering giving my students extra credit for bringing me gourds. How wonderful would a classroom full of gourds look on a Christmas card? Nothing says happy holidays like a science lab full of squash.

Fair day is Monday – of course, none of my friends are off the same day so Katie are going to try and head out there tomorrow – we love the car show, and haven’t been in forever. Plus, this year the new addition to the fried food feast is an friend apple pie that looks like an ipod. I just want to see someone actually eat the nastiest thing I’ve ever heard of. They even give you a free set of headphones when you buy it. I guess you stick the headphones in the apple pie and you can hear, not the ocean, but Chris Farley repeating “Fat guy in a little coat”.

High school bathrooms are like haunted houses. You walk in, holding your breath, wandering which door is safe, which door does NOT have something scary behind it, and you are usually wrong, and your heart stops, and you are horrified by what you have seen. Gives a new meaning to “I’m so sacred I’m about to pee my pants!”

Everyone makes fun of carneys, but aren’t haunted house actors like the scary version of carneys? They essentially do the same thing – sit together and smoke on their break, wearing garb reminiscent of a homeless person, leaving you wondering if they are working or just found a way to sneak in and mess with unsuspecting patrons.

On the sports front, college football has been the year of the upset so far – and I mean that in an underdog way, as well as a disappointed way towards my Aggies. It is my hopes that we’re in a rebuilding year….
Excitement ensues as I embark on my
trip to an Arkansas game! I will be heading to Fayetteville on Halloween for the homecoming game! Woo, pig soiee!
I also have gotten to go to a Stars game already this year! I’m going to pull a John Madden and state the obvious – we look good, and Sean Avery is HOT.

My sisters are completely awesome, I’ve decided. My youngest sister is conquering her first semester of college, taking 12 hours and heading towards being a teacher! She still has no car and works full time at a restaurant! My middle sister is also amazing, and I’m pretty jealous of all she’s done. At 20, she is a radio deejay, is in her third year of majoring in broadcast production, is a production assistant for the local news network, works in the school computer lab, AND just wrapped up assisting a prominent LA tv editor on a reality show pilot. Some may say I’m living vicariously through that little one!

After writing my rap about cells for a biology lesson, I have now crossed over into fifth grade music. My bff Amanda was in a prime number crisis, emailed me the prime numbers, and asked me to provide her with a suitable tune with which to sing said prime numbers. After much deliberation with my third period class, we figured out the “Yankee Doodle” has the same number of syllables as the prime numbers…I think I have a new calling. School songwriter! My current work is a rap about Tungsten for my classes’ element project. Once it is perfected, it will be unleashed on the world.

Things I have learned this year:
Kids do drugs in class by rubbing their noses with their index fingers while I’m lecturing
The drug dog sniffed out my classroom full of juniors clean, but found alcohol and cigarettes in the freshman class down the hall, meaning that 14 years old need more to get through the day than 17 year olds
The newest dance crazes are called the Stanky Leg and the Booty-Doo, and it’s more funny to pretend to be ridiculously white and frustrate my kids by asking them to show me “that turkey leg” dance again

I’m going to combine this stanky leg dance with the salt shaker and the superman dances and make my own called the “Shaky Man”. Basically you walk around the dance floor, with your pretend cape, flailing about as if you were having the jitters. I love it.

Go Green, Go Gourds, Peace Out, -CFLOW-

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