12.30.2008

San Antonio is a bustling cosmopolitan town with plenty to see and do for the casual visitor

***
I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and I definitely hope you all got what you wanted. I've decided to list my gifts, in no particular order, but I am saving the favorite for last: Jewelry, socks, running shoes, toothbrush, sweater, underthings, coffee mug, notepad, pencil, coin purse, fancy wine opener, my very first Christmas Pickle, bodyspray galore, and a ticket to the BRITNEY SPEARS CONCERT!
(Thank you to my BFF Katie!)
***
This past weekend we visited Kristy at her home in San Antonio! She was home for Christmastime from her present residence in Hawaii. (And you're thinking what I'm thinking, taking a vacation AWAY from Hawaii?)
All in all, Katie and I were REALLY excited to get to go down to SA to see her. We took off Friday afternoon to hopefully avoid southbound 35 traffic through Temple, Texas. We still ended up getting stuck , thanks to some super-eager rubberneckers. People act like they've never seen a completely charred carcass of a large semi before. Made it down there about 8, feasted at Outback, and watched Mamma Mia. I've seen better musicals.

Saturday we got up and went to go look for the horses. Kristy's got three horses and a lot of acreage so we hopped in the Bronco and went lookin'. We finally find the horses, fed them carrots, and expected them to follow us back to the barn. 20 minutes later they've stood us up, so we hike back out there and find them. Katie hikes me up onto on of the nicest horses, Firefly, and I get to ride bareback all the way to the barn! I even came back with dirt on my butt.
Saturday afternoon we clean up and head to the driving range to meet Amanda and Francois. My swing has gotten so rusty that I think I literally created a new sandtrap with all the divots I was making in the grass. I believe I've found a resolution in getting my sorry butt back out to practice.
After waiting for the restaurant that never opened, we settled for an afternoon of hanging out at Amanda's, dining at Whatabuger, and shopping at Old Navy. Kristy's parents made us fajitas that night and we got to meet some more of her SA friends.
Saturday night we headed out to a sexy little joint called the Midnight Rodeo! It was all two-stepping with interspersed hip hop music, of course! The people watching was top notch. I danced a bit but the best part was taking over one side of the floor with Katie. We performed a duet to "Billie Jean" and were joined by a silly young man in a cowboy hat for "Ice Ice Baby". Always satisfying to teach a southern youngster the ways of the running man. As we're leaving the dance floor, an inebriated stringbean of a fella pops Katie on the bottom. Leading up to the phrase of the night, as we stroll out of the sweaty nightclub at 2 am: "You know what? I'm happy leaving with a slap on the ass and a kiss on the cheek. That's all I need." Katie says to me, as we say farewell to a place we may never see again! ;-) Other highlights of the night included large lady with unbuttoned pearl snap shirt and stringbean man trying to jump rope with his own leg.
Sunday we went horseback riding and then to lunch with a Amanda. A jam-packed and super-fun weekend.
***
Onto the New Year! I'm in the process of writing my list of resolutions, and will probably post them here just to hold myself accountable - maybe even give some folks out there some ideas. My yoga teacher today made a good point - instead of thinking about all the things we want to do, and things we want to accomplish, why not also thank the Lord for what we've already done, too?
If we all looked back to where we were a year from now, I'm sure we'd all have something great that we did that we have to be proud of.
Why not make 2009 the year of making the 2010 version of ourselves proud? :)
***
May you all end 2008 with a "slap on the ass and a kiss on the cheek" - compliments of Katie. All the more reason to stop by our places on New Year's Eve! :)

12.14.2008

Tag, You're It - And Hopefully, You're Interesting!

***
My dear longtime friend Amanda over at La Maison de Gentis (my little french twist on her blog title) has "tagged" me to share six interesting things about myself. Now, if you've read hers or any other similar ones on the internets, you'll know that theirs are way creative and completely engaging.
After an entire day of sifting through the 25 years of what makes me, I've decided to pick out six random facts, which may or may not be interesting, but will always be good conversation starters. (Especially when you're the only person at a Christmas party who doesn't know anyone and there is a short supply of wine on hand.)
***
Six Interesting Facts About the C-Flo:
***

1. Between the ages of 3 and 4, I was in the emergency room three times. The first time was due to an extremely high fever and dehydration, leading me to an overnight stay and lack of enamel/ staining on my teeth. (Which should explain my compulsive teeth-whitening rituals to this day). The second time was because while stacking chairs at day care, I fell backwards and chomped down on my tongue. After two visits and one straight jacket later, I got stitches and a really cool scar on my tongue to prove it. The third time my friend Shannon and I had a contest to win a Malibu Barbie. We were on the playground, and using our resources, decided that whoever could fit the most rocks up their nose won the Barbie. I won, but I didn't win a Barbie. I won a trip to see a doctor who had really long tweezers with which to remove said rocks. My mom still bought the Barbie for me afterwards.
Let's just say Mom was a little scared to send me to kindergarten.

***

2. I was somewhat of an artistic, yet intelligent kid. I began reading before age 3 and at age 5 my kindergarten teachers would get the morning classes together and have me read Curious George books to my class as well as the other classes. It was a little scary so I pretended like I was reading aloud to myself and not 60 other kids. I won a ribbon two years in a row in the Houston Livestock Show & Rodeo Art Contest for my drawings and my 6 foot tall mural was selected to hang in the Cotton Bowl at the State Fair in 1996. In fourth grade I learned how to balance a checkbook and read the stock market and have retained everything I learned that year to now. I went to Space Camp and Math/ Science Camp every summer on top of my dance and cheerleading camps. I took the SAT in seventh grade and fought my way from ranking 9th to 5th in my high school graduating class.
***

3. I've been in three commercials, 1 movie, 1 print ad, and have been interviewed on 2 radio shows. The commercials were for Main Event, Comcast, and the DCC show, the movie was "Sidekicks" starring Chuck Norris, the print ad was for MetroPCS, and the radio Shows were Lex & Terry, and Bo & Jim.
***

4. I love to write poetry and have enough written to eventually compile a book someday. I'm not concerned with who would buy the book, but to know that that my "cortneyisms" have been exposed to the world would be enough for me. I also learned how to convert my poetry into songwriting and wrote a song about my family for one of aspiring artist friends. :)
***

5. I'm a walking oxymoron: I research about/read fitness & health, and wine blogs until I'm blue in the face, knowing that someday I'll have to choose. Either that, or I'll have to make a REALLY great argument about how wine is a great compliment to anyone's foray into the wide world of health. Maybe if I decide to pursue a degree that requires a thesis, I can make this the topic.
***

6. As stupid as astrology can be, I think I'm a textbook Taurus. A Taurus is someone who is very determined and doesn't like change until after great deliberation. They are anal retentive about keeping track of their money and can sometimes be over-indulgent, needing to practice moderation. Taureans have a need of safety, stability, and security in life and can be a bit stubborn. For anyone that's known me for an extended period of time, they know that when I get an idea in my head, I ride it out to the end. I hate changing my routine, but when I do, it becomes permanent until I find a new one. I've kept my checkbook balanced since I opened my first account in 2000, and I eat WAY too much oatmeal and drink WAY too much coffee. I am in a constant state of worry if I can't premeditate how or what is going to happen, and I'm overly careful sometimes.

***

To all my friends that actually read my ridiculous musings, please comment and tell ME six interesting things about yourself...I'd love to hear them!!

***

11.30.2008

Pre-Christmas Fun


Cortney's Christmas Poem, 2008


Is it ironic that Kris Kringle rhymes with jingle?

Or at Christmastime we're expected to mingle?

There are no sounds that rhyme with Nick

Except if you count the word 'ick'

Nothing can be done socially that rhymes with Clause

Unless socially you drop your 'draws'

If that's your Christmas, leave me be

I'd rather have my sanity

And be around bells that jingle

While watching Mr. Kringle mix and mingle!


WHOOOOP!


It's the most wonderful time of the year! Yes folks, it's my absolute 1oo percent favorite time of the year. I've already got the decorations up, my radio is constantly tuned to 103.7 for lite holiday favorites, my room smells of cookies and pumpkin spice, and my coffee of the moment is holiday peppermint. What is better than the span of time from Thanksgiving to New Year's when everything is seasonally superb!


There will be many more Christmastime posts to come, for sure, but today was influenced by the presence of Christmas lights in church.


While I'm supposed to be thinking about Jesus (I try really hard) I sometimes find my thoughts drifting towards the Christmas lights profession. And I find myself thinking, "What does a professional Christmas tree lights specialist do for the other 10 months out of the year?" I think I figured it out. They are professional tree-climbers. Like not tree-huggers, or environmentalists or whatever...they climb trees. Like, everything that can ever be done in a really big tree, these people do. They're like professional stuntmen. Everyone appreciates what they do, and are fascinated by it all at the same time, but would never want to do it themselves. Cut branches away from a power line? Get spooked cats out of trees? Hang fancy lights to make rich people's mansions look bigger? Create mood lighting in deciduous backyards? I'm not doing any of that, but I appreciate it.


Or maybe professional Christmas tree-lighters are actually just off duty firemen who like to take the motorized ladder out for a spin every once in a while.
The METRORETRO Movement
Let me tell you about the what I've coined as "The METRORETRO Movement". After discussing it with Katie this morning, her response was "you should blog about that."
We saw a guy wearing black jeans today, and we decided that as soon as a trend hits the women of America, guys latch on. Not the regular guys at first, but the "metrosexual" men. The men who are comfortable enough in their own skin to wear purple skinny jeans while clutching an attractive, albeit confused young woman.
So ladies, watch out for your men. Before we know it, they too will be privy to the Metroretro.
The retro comes from the fact that the trends now are the trends from years ago, that have been resurfacing in a particularly interesting and quick manner. So quick that I've been asking for my bags from Goodwill BACK.
Happy December! I'm off to watch the Dallas Stars defeat (?) Edmonton.
DEUCE ;-)

Turkey Trot 2008!

Thanksgiving morning my family, Katie's mom, and our friend Ryan ran the 3-Mile Turkey Trot in downtown Dallas!
It's always fun to see lots of friends (Nikki & Family, Stacey!) and have a generally good time.
MILE 1:
Strollers, dogs, large swarms of walking people, cross country jogging
MILE 2:
Teenagers, dog poo, finding breaks in the crowd to run through
MILE 3:
Teenage girls holding hands, sprinting, finish line, a half eaten orange dropped on the ground
Happy Thanksgiving!


Made Cooler by the Cavalier

DISCLAIMER: This really happened last week!

Sorry the picture is so bad, but I was driving, trying not to be too obvious, and this guy was for real - I had to try and capture something I haven't seen since 1998!

Picture this (it gets cooler every line):
Bleach bottle blonde hair color
Male
Chil-bowl haircut parted down the middle, gelled down
Black button up shirt
Black wristband pulled up above watch line
Orange cell phone cover
Sunglasses with mirrored yellow- orange fade
Yellow Chevy Cavalier

I don't think I need to make any comments...this speaks for itself.

The Natural State


Howdy there, I'm back!
As my welcome back post, thought I'd say Happy Thanksgiving and hello again. Over Halloween I made the journey up to Fayetteville, Arkansas for my very first Razorback football game. The game and the campus itself were so reminiscent of College Station...meaning, completely fun and wonderful. What happened outside of the game was what made the trip have character.

Friday night my mom decides that she wants to go out with her old high school buddies and leaves my sisters and I to our own devices. We spend our Halloween night in the local mall surrounded by small children in really cute costumes and large children dressed as Paris Hilton. Dinner consisted of 2 smoothies and a coffee for myself. We're heading back to my crazy Grammy's house in my mom's car, when we get totally lost. We're lost in Fort Smith, Arkansas, and not the pretty part either. I decide to be cute and pull out the iphone, assuming that my GPS will come to the rescue and point me in the right direction. Mom doesn't want to talk on the phone longer than enough to tell us that Grammy lives on "33rd street".

Did you know that Fort Smith has MULTIPLE 33rd streets?

Neither did I.
45 minutes upon leaving the mall, we thankfully landed in the front yard of Grammy's house (she doesn't have a driveway) and we completed what is normally a ten minute drive.
Much of me wishes I were traipsing through Uptown with my Wonder-Woman clad best friend on Halloween night at 4 am instead. :)
This was just Friday. On the drive to and from Fayetteville on Saturday, I saw lots of things in the back of trucks. I wish I would have taken pictures. My favorite things that people were hauling would have been:
3. Plastic Santa Claus
2. Gigantic Deer Head
1. Rock Climbing Wall

And who said Arkansans were only used to scaling the Ozarks? Apparently, they like their textured polyurethane-covered multiplex board too as much as the next guy.
All in all the trip was pretty fun. Arkansas is really beautiful, and the University's campus is very impressive. Makes me proud to say I'm a native of THE Natural State.


10.06.2008

Deep in the Heart of Texas!

BIG TEX IS HOT!Katie and I made our first visit to the State Fair of Texas in about 10 years yesterday! It all began with a trip to the Car Show, of course. The best showing by far were the Saleen Mustangs and the Saturns. My next car is going to be one of two things: a huge gas guzzling monster or the smallest thing ever that nibbles on gas.
***

Gig em Big Tex!That's me imitating Big Tex.

Katie's first time on the Texas Star!What's more awesome than the Dallas skyline?We indulged in a snack (corny dog for Katie, Lemon Chill for me), we rode the Texas Star (Katie had never been on the Ferris wheel before!) and we even watched Mark conquer a few of the fried tasty treats! (Fried chocolate truffle, strawberry waffle balls)
***
This alpaca had dreads, kinda looks a cross between the lead singer for the Counting Crows and Kid of Kid n Play. Alpaca House Party.
It's some bighorns! We had a staring contest...they won.A baby cow named Beauregard.We also made it to the nutrition pavilion, saw some cows, played with a miniature horse, and ran into my very first boyfriend ever, Kyle! I was imitating a chewing camel at the petting zoo/ feed barn when I heard my name and looked over see him and his family across the way.
All in all, it was a fabulous day.
***

For those of you that watch the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader show on CMT, YES! I made it into the first episode. Although I only made it to semi finals, there’s a shot of me dancing, splitting, and smiling while they announce the finalists! So if you get a chance to watch it, look for the bleach blonde in a sparkly hot pink top and blue shorts.
Not my best look, but I did stand out a little.
***
Screen shots from my mom's tv.

***
So I tried running on the Katy Trail again yesterday, for the first time since last March. My joints HATE me right now. My ankles, knees, and hip flexors are dying. I need it though; I am running Race for the Cure again in two weeks (3.1 miles) and then the Turkey Trot again on Thanksgiving Day (8 miles).
I got a REALLY good idea while I was running though. I never go out on the trail if I’m going to walk. I run, or I don’t go at all. To me, I’m embarrassed to be out there if I’m not running, biking or rollerblading like everyone else. HOWEVER – there is an exception. When I see people walking, their tops are covered in sweat. Automatically I think – “Wow, they must have just gotten done with a really LONG run! I wish that were me….”
Technically, it’s okay to walk if you’re covered in sweat. People automatically assume you’ve just been going at it really hard and are in your cool down period.

***

So here’s my idea….

Ladies and gentleman –
The *SWEAT-SHIRT*!

A shirt with strategically placed “sweat marks” and “wet whiskers” to make it look like you’ve been working out for hours! No more worrying about what they’ll think about you taking a walk. Taking a walk in a *SWEAT-SHIRT* gives you a free out, fooling others to believe that you’ve just run the Boston Marathon!


Just think – looking like you’ve just expended yourself physically gives you a free out – hit up any restaurant or party in this *SWEAT-SHIRT* and you can eat or drink whatever you want – you’re THAT GUY who just worked out REALLY HARD. Now it’s time to enjoy life. You don’t even small bad….you didn’t even exercise, so you didn’t sweat!

***

10.04.2008

What up, Gourd Season

So obviously my blog’s been out of commission recently, and with good reason! Work’s been a lot lately and with all my dedication to my students I’ve forgotten to get back to one of the things that makes me happiest – writing about them. HA! Just kidding. And with that, I give you –

The Fall/ Halloween Post of 2008!!

With the presidential election coming up, I would like you to all know that YES I’ve been researching each candidate, and am making my decision based on a myriad of information, mainly including their favorite pop culture icon and song of 1998. Anyway,

in the spirit of the recent vice presidential debate, I’ve created new campaign slogans for each camp, to show a little love to our VEEPEES! Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Repubs: McPalin 2008! And the Dems: Obiden 2008! I will not divulge my political leanings, but I will advise that listening to celebrities is probably not the best idea….but hey, if you too believe that someday aliens are going to come and rescue everyone wearing red strings around their wrists and give the world to those with no less than five DUIs, then be my guest!



I am SO happy that fall is here. My favorite thing about fall is GOURD SEASON! Once it gets closer I will be making my annual trip to Central Market to pick out some delicious, decorative gourds for the apartment. My friend Mark first introduced me to these amazing beings back in 2004, and I haven’t been the same since. In fact, I am considering giving my students extra credit for bringing me gourds. How wonderful would a classroom full of gourds look on a Christmas card? Nothing says happy holidays like a science lab full of squash.

Fair day is Monday – of course, none of my friends are off the same day so Katie are going to try and head out there tomorrow – we love the car show, and haven’t been in forever. Plus, this year the new addition to the fried food feast is an friend apple pie that looks like an ipod. I just want to see someone actually eat the nastiest thing I’ve ever heard of. They even give you a free set of headphones when you buy it. I guess you stick the headphones in the apple pie and you can hear, not the ocean, but Chris Farley repeating “Fat guy in a little coat”.

High school bathrooms are like haunted houses. You walk in, holding your breath, wandering which door is safe, which door does NOT have something scary behind it, and you are usually wrong, and your heart stops, and you are horrified by what you have seen. Gives a new meaning to “I’m so sacred I’m about to pee my pants!”

Everyone makes fun of carneys, but aren’t haunted house actors like the scary version of carneys? They essentially do the same thing – sit together and smoke on their break, wearing garb reminiscent of a homeless person, leaving you wondering if they are working or just found a way to sneak in and mess with unsuspecting patrons.

On the sports front, college football has been the year of the upset so far – and I mean that in an underdog way, as well as a disappointed way towards my Aggies. It is my hopes that we’re in a rebuilding year….
Excitement ensues as I embark on my
trip to an Arkansas game! I will be heading to Fayetteville on Halloween for the homecoming game! Woo, pig soiee!
I also have gotten to go to a Stars game already this year! I’m going to pull a John Madden and state the obvious – we look good, and Sean Avery is HOT.


My sisters are completely awesome, I’ve decided. My youngest sister is conquering her first semester of college, taking 12 hours and heading towards being a teacher! She still has no car and works full time at a restaurant! My middle sister is also amazing, and I’m pretty jealous of all she’s done. At 20, she is a radio deejay, is in her third year of majoring in broadcast production, is a production assistant for the local news network, works in the school computer lab, AND just wrapped up assisting a prominent LA tv editor on a reality show pilot. Some may say I’m living vicariously through that little one!

After writing my rap about cells for a biology lesson, I have now crossed over into fifth grade music. My bff Amanda was in a prime number crisis, emailed me the prime numbers, and asked me to provide her with a suitable tune with which to sing said prime numbers. After much deliberation with my third period class, we figured out the “Yankee Doodle” has the same number of syllables as the prime numbers…I think I have a new calling. School songwriter! My current work is a rap about Tungsten for my classes’ element project. Once it is perfected, it will be unleashed on the world.

Things I have learned this year:
Kids do drugs in class by rubbing their noses with their index fingers while I’m lecturing
The drug dog sniffed out my classroom full of juniors clean, but found alcohol and cigarettes in the freshman class down the hall, meaning that 14 years old need more to get through the day than 17 year olds
The newest dance crazes are called the Stanky Leg and the Booty-Doo, and it’s more funny to pretend to be ridiculously white and frustrate my kids by asking them to show me “that turkey leg” dance again


I’m going to combine this stanky leg dance with the salt shaker and the superman dances and make my own called the “Shaky Man”. Basically you walk around the dance floor, with your pretend cape, flailing about as if you were having the jitters. I love it.

Go Green, Go Gourds, Peace Out, -CFLOW-

8.18.2008

I hate "Icebreakers"

Staff Development, Day Uno

Principal: "Let's go around the room and introduce ourselves! Tell me who your are, how long you've been here teaching, and something wonderful you did this summer!"

Cortney: "Hi! I'm Cortney. This is my third year teaching. I graduated from our wonderful high school and made my way onto Texas A&M (whoop inserted here) where I graduated from in the fall of 2005. This summer after I taught summer school I got to see my best friend from college marry a guy with my last name. So now, there's two of us - the only difference is that she has a husband....and I have a cat."

Everyone around the room: "Awwww....hahahahaha. You're better off with a cat!"

I love you, Courtney - just wanted to share the fact that you made a good story during an absolutely, positively, most excellently boring day of talking. :)

8.07.2008

Probes, Balls, and Logs Galore!

***
Some days, you just cannot make stuff up. Stuff happens, and people say glorious things about it, and I write them down, for all to enjoy.
Here is an actual conversation had, this very morning, in a lesson planning meeting with other chemistry teachers from across the district.
It seems that we are introducing a new activity into our daily lessons, and these activities are called "probes".
***
Teacher 1: "So where should we stick our probes in this unit?"
Teacher 2: "Which probe are we using first?"
Teacher 3: "I thought we decided on using the floating logs probe first?"
Teacher 4: "Yes, let's do the log probe first!"
Teacher 5: "What about the floating balls probe? That one looks good!"
Me, after about 10 minutes of this: "So, balls or logs? And where exactly are we sticking each of these probes?" (Keep in mind I had about three other teachers watching me stifle my laugh the entire time.)
***
Oh, but that wasn't enough!
Other randomly selected quotes from the day, being as about 15 teachers are working together on one computer.
"Back it up!"
"It's always takes him about 30 minutes..."
"We should use a probe in every unit!"
***
And all the while, under my breath, I think I muttered "That's what she said" about 77 times.
I am admitting that I have a problem, and I'm trying to get off the "TWSS" wagon before August 25th. But, until then, watch out, I'm a champ, and will beat you to TWSS, not once - but always.
***
And the tagline reads:


"That's what she said" -


A fun, adult alternative game to Slugbug! So, while your little ones are busy beating up their pals at the sight a of Volkswagen, you my friend, are indulging in laughter with your fellow mates who enjoy a little inappropriate connotation!

7.30.2008

From Greek to Geek!

***
As most of you know, I have taken my professional dorkiness to a new level and decided to attend a pre-AP Chemistry conference at UTD this week. For seven hours a day, five days in a row, I am in a classroom of assorted (mostly older, very interesting) teachers and learning about the joys of teaching advanced chemistry. Not that I will ever get to teach this anytime soon – it’s all out of hope. I have rather enjoyed the labs, being that my peers have complimented me multiple times on my very attractive safety goggles. (I got them at Home Depot in case you’re interested.) I have actually learned a lot, being as it feels like I’m in college again – a bit rejuvenating, if you will.
I have also learned that a watched clock never moves….and that teaching is like cooking. You have a base recipe and method of going about it, but your dish becomes more memorable (and asked for) once you’ve added your own special ingredients.
I wrote a new poem today in honor of me realizing what I was, what I became, and how thankful I am for the road that lead me here…and I named it:
***
***
From Greek to Geek

From Greek to Geek, I think I have this thing down!
From pearls to lab goggles, from jeans to pants of brown.

I used to chat about being safe while I’d sing,
And schedule buses to and from Pi Phi flings.

Now I talk about the periodic table or electron pull,
The only buses I see drop off the kids at school!

I once got paid 20 dollars a day,
To teach aerobics and how to lift weight.

Now I get paid 20 dollars an hour,
To send little hoodlums to the safety shower!

I memorized every Greek-lettered organization,
Now I use Greek letters for every chemical equation.

Who ever said that being an Aggie Greek was so odd –
Must be having a terrible time at their job.

“Miss, how do you know so much!” my kids ask,
As I ponder my answer I lift an Erlenmeyer flask.

Remembering wistfully when flasks were more fun,
Buying them as presents for my friends turning 21.

“I learned it all at the best school in College Station!”
I reply (knowing it was really my “other education”) :)
***

7.20.2008

Attack on the Wedding D-Bag

***
Weddings are super-fun, especially when they are full of friends, food, a kickass cover band, and lots of cocktails. Sometimes a single man in his 20s will show up with a wingman, under all intention of bagging him a cute little lady to take home for the night. Sometimes when sorority girls get together, they recognize this guy, and turn the tables on him.
Let’s change the name of this guy to ‘Chad’, for privacy’s sake, and begin the tale of how we all crashed the wedding d-bag Saturday night.
***

Our tale begins at the end of the reception with a walk out to the lobby, where everyone is gathering their rose petals to shower the happy couple with as they escape the reception and jump in their limo.
Chad, to me: “Hey beautiful, what about that dance you promised me tonight?”
Me: “What dance?” (Followed by a prompt exit as I begin to observe his amusingly drunken behavior towards the rest of my sorority sisters)
So we get back to the empty reception and start forming a Chad-watching group, thinking of things we can get girls to say to him to enhance his d-bag behavior.
(Mind you earlier he spent the entire night on the rim of the dance floor, smiling skeezily at every girl, chatting a bit, clinging tightly to
what I’m sure was a sugary drink poured into a beer bottle.)
We convince Jacque to approach him and introduce herself.
Jackie: “Hi Chad, I’m Jacque!”
Chad: (seductively) ‘I’d recognize those eyes anywhere.”
Needless to say, Jackie joins us quickly and we launch more attacks.
After the reception we go to the hotel bar and begin to spread the d-bag’s legend. Luckily enough, he approaches me again:
Chad: (bends over in front of me and picks up a flattened, stepped-on flower) “I was waiting here to give this to you.”
And I proceed to give the flower to the rest of my girlfriends, giving them the same line.
I’m not going to lie, I ended up talking to way more girls than he did.
***

Cortneyisms for the Week

***
Cortneyisms for the Week:
I did a lot of thinking over the weekend, therefore I’m qualified to write aforementioned thoughts. I take them, package them up all pretty, channel Yogi Berra, and produce a little gem called a “Cortneyism”.
Feel the wisdom.
One happy, one thought provoking.
***
"Time is my worst enemy because I cannot change it, nor can I get it back.
Time is my best friend because it forces me to keep moving forward and remembering that even this moment will soon become a thing of the past.
Time – you either live in it or you lose it."
***
"Someone who is training to become a bodybuilder is like a woman who is slightly pregnant. You don’t know whether to tell them congratulations on how far they’ve come or to uncomfortably wonder why they’re slightly chubbier than usual."
***

Congrats Courtney and Michael!

***
Courtney and Michael are officially married!
For those of you that weren't at the rehearsal dinner, I'd like to share the toast we made to the two. Katie and I wrote it in the car on the ride down this weekend, and Kristy approved it upon her arrival from HAWAII!
This was the first time that Courtney, me, Amanda, Katie, and Kristy were all together in three years.
This was definitely one of the best weddings I've been too in a long time - more to come on that front.
Here's the most awesome toast ever. ;-)
***
***
A Toast to Courtney & Michael
July 18, 2008
As Read and Written by Katie, Cortney,& Kristy
***
Seven years ago in the summer of 2001,
We met as Pi Phi pledges, our college experience having begun

There was a girl who looked like Britney and a girl who looked like Drew,
They lived in the same dorm, even had the same name (one without a U)

They quickly bonded with their pledge sisters and as if by chance,
The Co(u)rtneys, Katie, Kristy, and Amanda joined the crew for Firedance

Formals, mixers, crush parties and football games were rocked in College Station,
Springs breaks coast to coast and New Orleans, sampling our fair share of libations!

The rest is history my friends, we sure did have a blast,
Tearing up the town, forging friendships that would last

Getting to know Courtney and even better, being her friend
Is getting to know a woman who is the epitome of genuine

We’ll never know if the world is ready for one more Courtney Fowler,
But we all know that our worlds would have never been the same if they would have been without her.

We are so very blessed to be here as Courtney begins her new life
By granting Michael the honor of becoming his beautiful wife

Please raise your glasses and join us in a toast to the happy pair
May God bless now and forever the great happiness you soon will share!
***

7.11.2008

That's What She Said

Since Merriam-Webster has so graciously honored the Lone Star State with the inclusion of the term "Texas Hold 'Em" in the dictionary, I have decided to honor my fellow citizens of Dallas with a segment entitled:
"That's What She Said: Words I've Nominated for Merriam-Webster"
JANKY
Pronunciation: \ˈjəŋke\
Function:noun, verb, adjective
Etymology:Middle English
Date: 21st century
1: refers to something that does not work, is unreliable, or is generally messed up pretty bad.
Examples: a bad laptop= janktop; a bad car=jankmobile; bad toilet=janktank; bad pda=jankberry; when someone is messed up, they are janktified; when someone has ruined something, they have janked it up.
BUTTACRUST
Pronunciation:\ˈbə-tər-ˌkrustt\
Function: noun, verb
Etymology: Cortneyism
Date: 21st century
1: the opposite of a muffin-top, when a person decides to wear tight pants and display their backside in a manner showing the spillage of excess skin up, above, and over the pack of their slacks.
Examples of usage in a sentence: "I cannot see five feet in front of me thanks to that chick's buttacrust." "Oh yes, she was a very nice person, but was one buttacrustin' fool!"
This week in Summer School:
When a student asks what they're supposed to be learning, it is perfectly acceptable for the teacher to respond with a simple "We teach the crap."
When a student complains that their calculator keeps giving them the wrong answer, it is also perfectly acceptable to respond by saying "A calculator is only as smart as the person who's pushing the buttons."
Quote of the Day:
"Those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles."
Isiah 30:31
Anne Graham's comments on this really made me think, in lieu of what changed in my life yesterday. She asks, "Is there someone else who is leading you to join with him or her in decisive action? Instead of blindly saying 'I'll go with you' take a moment to pray and ask God for His direction. Then wait until He answers you. "
Thank you, Lord, for helping me see your direction - the direction in which I were meant to go. :)

7.08.2008

Is It Weird That? Vol. 1

Hi there!! Tonight is my first installment of:

Is It Weird That?
I find myself wishing I could email from my cell phone?
That my parents locked me in my room when I was eight years old until I learned all my times tables by heart and I'm still terrible at mental math?
That I still go to the public library because I figured out that the books were free?
That when I was little I thought that the little red balls on the power lines were filled with knives and fire?
That I LOVE teaching electron configurations?
That I teach chemistry and I still learn something new about it everyday?
That no matter how my day is going once I hear kids learning I get excited?
That one of the best present my mother ever bought for me was a DVD from the dollar store of my favorite Vincent Price scary movie?
That one of my favorite things to do is ride roller coasters even though I only get to do it once a year?
That I earn satisfaction from hoping that I will pay my child’s college tuition without them ever having to worry about it?
That I secretly wish I were an amazing chef and plan to live vicariously through my naturally blessed youngest sister?
That I also secretly wish I were a radio DJ and am again living vicariously through the other sister?
That I sometimes shrink my clothes hoping that they will either fit or entice me to lose weight?
That I can teach entire lessons based on Saved by the Bell episodes?
That I am convinced that I am the world's best accomodator?

I'll have a million more of those, I promise.

On a more normal note.... :)
Today, my friend Sarah asked me what my teaching philosophy is. I have never been asked what my teaching philosphy is before, and presented with a moment when I had to figure it out, I finally did.

"My personal philosophy on education is to teach to the kids that can be taught, and to not take personal the kids that do not share my enthusiasm on learning and planning for the future. In a public school system, many children have been raised to believe what their parents have taught them to believe. Many are already conditioned to think that a vocational school is their best bet, and do not expect much more of themselves - nor do their parents. All I can hope to do is latch onto the kids that care, and do everything I can to further them in their academic endeavors. If one 6 kids out of my 150 I teach every year goes to college and graduates, I consider that achievement on my part. I have learned to expect little happinesses from time to time rather than full on "change the entire student body" type achievements. It only takes one person to change the world....what if I was that one person's high school teacher? It could happen, and that's what I stand by."

Think about it - I think this philosophy could apply to anyone on Earth. What if we all could just reach one person? The great thing is that, we can! :)

Fun Fact of the Day:
The most flexible part of your body sustains the least ability to balance. The least flexible part of your body sustains ALL your ability to balance.

7.03.2008

You down with ATP?

Today in summer school I completed what I like to call the "Cell Freestyle". It's basically a rap that describes the different parts of the plant and animal cell. The idea for this song came into conception around TAKS testing time this past April. My students cannot ever remember the parts of the cell, much less what each part does. So, with a little help from Naughty by Nature, I have changed the words of "OPP" to "ATP". Tell me what you think. :)

Now the C to the E to the L is something phat,


Plants and animals are all down with that


We all know that they both can't be the same,


So let's start with similarities, both have a membrane


One covers the nucleus and the other the cell,


It's like a club bouncer or a guard in jail


Helping to keep homeostasis maintained,


While letting the nucleus serve as the brain


The brain is the best place for the DNA,


It tells us what to do, how to think, and what to say


RNA comes in and does his transcription,


And leaves with a super special prescription


Translation ensues and and makes a protein code,


The ribosomes get ready and make the whole load


The Golgi body works just like the U.P.S.,


Carb and protein presents shipped out exocytosis!


The cytoplasm is just like a Jello mold,


Cell organelles float within its hold


Endoplasmic reticulum transports everything on time,


While the lysosomes digest trash with their enzymes


Plants and animals are alike in many ways,


But now let's contrast these two for a change


Plants reach for the sun and need to stand tall,


That's the reason why they all have a cell wall


Big vacuoles store food and water in sacs,


The little green disks are the chloroplasts


Filled with green chlorophyll they can't be missed,


They're the ultimate player in photosynthesis


Food is made from water and C-O-2,


Oxygen is given off for humans to consume


Mitochondria take in the food and oxygen,


And use it towards cellular respiration


Before you know it, we have energy,


In three little letters we call ATP!




Chorus:


You down with ATP?


Yeah energy!


You down with ATP?


Yeah energy!


You down with ATP?


Yeah energy!


Who's down with ATP?


Everybody!


YEAH! C-flo original.


Happy Birthday Katie!


Today was my best friend Katie's 25th birthday.

We met my freshman year of college, and became roomies (for life!) at the age of 19. In honor of her special day, I left her present and some balloons on the counter in the kitchen - along with this poem! I wanted to wait until she read it to post it for everyone. (PS - I LOVE writing poems. Not great at it, but I try so hard I can call it a hobby.)


Katie Jane,

There's so much to say

On this, a most important

25th birthday.


Since we were 18

And pledges in Pi Phi,

We've made it from dorms to half a house and back

And seen how quickly 7 years can fly.


The years keep getting better

And the days seem to pass so fast

We lived the Ultimate College Experience

Being fun adults is now our task!


The future is looming ahead

It's something we can't ignore

But if we cherish each moment now

There's no telling what happiness may be in store.


You are the only person

I've ever been able to live with,

Sometimes I cannot imagine

Not having you, but a set of kids!


With 5 years left before we're 30

And officially very old,

I hope that you retain your grace and charm,

Abundantly spreading your heart of gold.


Love you, Katie!

Happy 25th Birthday.

7.01.2008

Random Tuesday Thoughts

So today in summer school we taught the kids what the difference is between viruses and bacteria. There are a lot of scientific explanations but I decided to just tell the kids that a virus is different because it looks like the robotic spider from the Wild Wild West movie.

While the kids are busy debating how well this fact will help them with their upcoming science TAKS test, I sit and think about what if questions, and try to figure out my answers.
This way, if I ever get interviewed for anything at all, I will know exactly what to say.

If you could have any superpower, what would it be?
I would have the ability to be awesome at any and everything I ever tried to do. I call it the multi talented superpower. (MTS)

If you won the lottery, what is the first thing you would do? (aside from donating it to charities and giving some to family and friends)
I would hire a DRIVER! I do not like driving at all, and have recently developed a bit of road rage since moving to the busier part of Dallas.

What is your favorite oxymoron?
"Happy Hour" - it's longer than an hour, and the soonest you get "happy" is after the aforementioned happy "hour" is over.

Why is owning a vehicle like being in a relationship?
The best deals are not the prettiest or the ones with the highest price tags.
To get good use out of it, you have to maintain and care for it on a daily basis.
A little scratch here and there can be fixed, or lived with.
No one wants one that guzzles down all your money without returning the favor.
Being in an enclosed space while it's running can kill you.
The first one is always dubbed a "learning experience".
Having it stolen is the worst feeling in the world.
Giving it too much bling can make it look cheap and give off the wrong impression.
The more friends that meet it and love it, the more you love it as well.
You grow incredibly attached to it until it lets you down.

Let me know if you have any more fun Tuesday musings!

Billboard Quote of the Day:
"If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?" :)

Why I Love Ashtanga Yoga

So for those of you that know me fairly well, you know that I update my fairly consistent routines about every six months or so. For the past six months my newest fitness obsession is Core Fusion and Ashtanga Yoga classes at Exhale Spa (link provided above).

Being the conservative Christian girl that I am, most of you are thinking, "Cortney, in yoga? What is this?"

I began very open minded about the whole 'practice' as they call it, and have found it to be quite enjoyable. Core Fusion classes were an easy transition for me from my gym rat days because it's like dance, pilates, and weight training all rolled into one hour long kick-my-butt class.
But yoga? Now that took some getting used to.....but now I love it, and here's why.

17 Reasons Why I Love Yoga
by Cortney

1. At the end of class, we close by saying "Namaste". I say "Jesus" so that God won't think I am bowing to the porcelain Buddha sculpture next to the gong at the front of the room. I spend a lot of class time praying in my downward dog position so class also doubles as devotional time well spent.

2. All the dance and gymnastics I did for years makes me look like a pro when we do back bends and handstands, and allows me to make asshole comments to my peers like "yeah, and i only tried this six months ago...!" (kidding....or am i?)

3. I've learned Sanskrit. Or actually I've recognized what word goes with what action, leading me to believe that Pavlov's Dogs could have learned Sanskrit as well.

4. I can do crazy/ freaky stuff I've never known. I can balance solely on my forearms in about 4 different ways, only to find that it kind of creeps people out when I show them at parties.
5. Only in yoga is it acceptable to sweat and drip sweat profusely - girls included. In one particular teacher's class it is also acceptable to pass gas, as she calls this "the body's natural response to a release of stress". I'm gonna be honest, it is mostly elderly people who do this audibly during class, and it is REALLY hard to keep from snickering/ falling over in fits of uncontrollable laughter.

6. Do you have a needle and thread? Because my arms are gettin' ripped!

7. I can do a lot of pushups now - dare you to say "drop and give me 10"...make sure you add pushups, because I will tell you I don't carry cash if you don't specify.
8. Yoga is done bare-footed. Meaning that pedicures are a MUST from now on.

9. We meditate at the start and end of class. Any workout that includes essential relaxation is flippin' wonderful, because that's the only time I relax.

10. Sometimes I feel like I've entered a secret club, with a variety of members, who call themselves "yogis" and ask how the kindergarten musical went last night. :)
11. There is no one to impress or compete with other than myself. Yes, there are gorgeous girls there, whom I consider to be my role models. Oh and the guys there....well, with as flexible as they are it leaves the mind to wonder if they're checking out the teacher or the dude standing next to the teacher. :)

12. Class puts my way out of my element. It is the one part of my day where I literally have no contact with the outside world, and I cannot possibly exhibit any of my type A personality traits.

13. I usually get free massages. Yes, they call them adjustments, but I call them heavenly.

14. Although I'm improving, I'm challenged everyday. I never know what to expect, and I usually discover a new goal for my body every week.

15. I finally have something in common with the bohemian Scientologists of the world. This way, when I finally get the guts up to enter a vegetarian establishment alone, I will ALWAYS have a conversation starter above and beyond hummus recommendations.

16. I get to feel like a kid again. I'm actually encouraged to do backward rolls and handstands and see how far I can put my foot behind my head. And my peers will actually volunteer to spot me!
17. Yoga makes for an even ground. No jewelry, no bags, no shoes, just plain ol' people wearing 500 dollars worth of yoga gear on their bodies. A totally even ground, like I said. ;-)

Did I mention there was a gong? Sweet action.
BOOOOOINGGGG!

6.11.2008

Who Wins The War?

Today's war comes to you from my friendly neighborhood Super Target.
I love Super Target because you go expecting to buy nothing...and then end up getting seduced my the stationery aisle..oh look, accessories...aren't those shoes cute?...that dress is on sale!...I totally need some new mascara....these bowls and cups are like a dollar...did I run out of toilet paper?...I think I need shampoo...they sell wine here?.....and two hours later, you are two hundred dollars poorer.

So anyways, back to the war. Today's competitors: red headed toddler versus weary looking dad.
I am leaving an aisle, and I quickly stop to avert a head on collision with a small child wearing "Heelies" (sneakers with rollerblade bottoms). Full on description of child: White Heelies, pink shoelaces, purple and black witch costume dress from Halloween, bright red hair, the obligatory pointy witch hat.....and did I mentioned that this red headed delight was a BOY?
As I round the corner in shock, not from my almost collision but from my encounter with this special child, my shock turns to laughter. Chasing behind the boy is our weary challenger, the dad, alone, with another kid in the cart full of goodies. He looks tired, and I understand.
Dad definitely lost the battle. Today.
But come Sunday that kid will be ditching the cross dressing Halloween wear for a sweater vest, khakis, and boat shoes. Dad takes revenge. :)